The words we use every day affect our lives and the lives of those around us. Think about the difference simple phases can have on your daily life. “You are hired, you are fired, it’s a boy, you have cancer, I love you, I am sorry, we won!”
Here are 4 simple phrases that are killing your business.
Phrase #1: I can’t…
The phrase “I can’t” is a massively disempowering statement. It removes all of your ability to think outside of the box and find a creative solution to a problem. It also limits your ability to self-reflect and find the real reason to your shortcomings.
The words “I can’t” usually precedes an excuse. “I can’t make those sales,” “I can’t because I don’t have time,” “I can’t because I have no money.” “I can’t because…” make up your excuse, here.
What we need to do is change the words we use. Words have power. You’re constantly telling yourself stories. These stories either empower you or not. And anything that begins with an “I can’t” is not going to serve you in a positive way.
Transform “I can’t” to “I won’t.” This phrase change is an active decision to not do something. It’s not about having resources or excuses, it’s just about making the decision.
“I won’t,” is you actively choosing not to do something, and this is an empowered choice.
“I won’t make those sales because I don’t believe in the program.” “I won’t invest the time because I don’t have value for it greater than the alternative,” “I won’t invest my money because I choose not too.”
All these phrases are choices, and choice is empowering.
Solution: Replace “I can’t” with: “I won’t.”
Phrase #2: I Shouldn’t have to…
This phrase is just as bad as “I can’t.” Usually “I shouldn’t have to” is a sign that your ego has decided to run amuck. Yes, you “shouldn’t have to” always set boundaries with your roommates, or you “shouldn’t have to worry about being fired when you call into work sick.”
Regardless, life happens and how we show up is what really matters.
This is a disempowering statement. see a pattern yet?
There are tons of things that you “shouldn’t have to do.”
We all shouldn’t have to do a lot of things in life, but that is just life. The simple fact of life the difference between winners and losers is that winners do things losers refuse to do.
Take a moment and think about what you desire in life.
What are you WILLING to do to achieve it?
If you answered anything less then… “ANYTHING,” you will not achieve it. Anthony Robbins once said, “People are rewarded in public, what they practice for years in private.”
Things you “shouldn’t” have to do, are opportunities to learn how to master something new.
The more things you master, the more ways you get rewarded.
Solution: Replace “I shouldn’t have to” with: “I enjoy”
“I enjoy mastering a new skill even though I don’t necessarily want too.” “I enjoy having a new opportunity to learn.” “I enjoy all the success that comes to my life through this new endeavor.” “I enjoy stepping into new challenges to make myself a better person.” “I enjoy mastering communication.”
Phrase #3: You should / I should…
“The Shoulds” are indecisive. They lack conviction and focus—two extremely important things to achieving goals.
Change “Should” to “MUST!”
Normally when we use the phrase “you should” it is in the form of a cautionary tale to others.
“You should get that corporate job because it is safe,” “you should take the cheaper apartment because it is a smarter investment.” On and on the cautionary tale goes…
If used in this context, a “should” is not only a disempowering thought or phrase but also completely lacking in conviction.
In this way, we are trying to use FEAR as the force behind an argument. Talk about an ego statement… If you’re using this phrase, you’re probably in a place where you’re thinking that your ideas are best for someone else’s life.
This is a sticky place to be.
If you stop to think about your own thought process, you will see that you use the phrase “I should” in your own self-talk. You’re using those same scary little gremlins of fear to make big life decisions.
Decisions born out of fear are destined to fail.
What’s “self-talk?” It’s the thoughts you have in every moment in between your ears. It’s every insecurity that pops up for you and that you think about, and every positive story in your mind.
Successful people, for the most part, have positive “self-talk.” These are positive, confident, uplifting thoughts and phrases that go through their minds.
Going back to our phrase…
The “I should” becomes a hex we cast on ourselves. It limits our ability to IDENTIFY and pursue our desires. We, therefore, start playing small, and our self-worth diminishes.
Instead of asking yourself “What should I do?” ask yourself “what do I desire?” Then ask yourself: “How can I achieve my desires?”
Now that being said, this is not a blank universal check to “pursue your dreams and everything magically works out.” That is horseshit.
Dreams take a ton of hard work and sacrifice.
Before you achieve your desires, you must know what they are. Afterward, you can come up with a plan to achieve them, and what you’re willing to sacrifice.
It’s not always about sacrifice, this is also just a way of prioritizing. Is the big apartment and security your number one priority, or travel? Or is it having passive income streams? Whatever it is, being honest with yourself and KNOWING what your priorities are gives you a leg up to achieving everything you desire.
Solution: Change “I should” to “I desire.”
Phrase #4: I don’t know…
The cautionary tale of “I don’t know”
You don’t need to have all the answers, nor do I think you should pretend to know everything. Lack of knowledge is not a weakness or a fault, but can be the catalyst to a new and exciting future.
The cautionary tale of the “I don’t knows” is when we use the phrase to stop all progress and give up. When the “I don’t know” becomes an “I GIVE UP,” We must remove it from our vocabulary too.
Before you utter the words… “I don’t know” ask yourself: is this an excuse to stop?
If it doesn’t then go forth and conquer.
No one can make you become a winner, you must want it more than anyone else. You must be bigger than your excuses.